With so many compelling characters in the Potterverse, its no surprise that non-canon erotica makes up the majority of the erotic Harry Potter fanfic out there. [62] He was one of the few people who actually liked her at the school. Language: English Words: 45,464 Chapters: 19 /? [72], On 17 March, Filch did his usual prodding act with the Secrecy Sensor as some of the sixth years departed the school for an Apparition lesson at Hogsmeade. He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. He apparently realised the Ministry of Magic was going to interfere at Hogwarts that school year, and clapped enthusiastically. As Severus Snape was a very strict and somewhat cruel teacher, Filch respected that and acted a loyal subordinate to him. Neatly forged paperwork lands Ed a job teaching summer school remedial chemistry to children who are older than he is. Chapter Text. EvenTom Feltonhas said that Drapple is his one of his favorite Harry Potter fan pairings. On the former's first afternoon as Headmistress, Fred and George Weasley set off an enormous crate of Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs which spread all over the school. [72] He had a horrible, pouchy[51] and pasty face[14] and bulging, pale eyes,[7] along with sunken, veined cheeks. Apparently, Filch lost some of his duties, as punishment seemed to be given out exclusively by the Carrows and Severus Snape. [73], Filch had been looking for someone to clear out his old punishment files, and when Severus Snape put Harry Potter in detention for hurting Draco Malfoy, he put Harry to work by making him copying out the misdeeds and punishments afresh and making sure that they were in alphabetical order without the aid of magic. In early February, Professor Sprout kindly assured Filch she would have Mrs Norris back in no time, as the Mandrakes, who were maturing for the Mandrake Restorative Draught, were already moody, secretive, and with acne. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage, Rape/Non-Con, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (3), Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, wait no there really isn't smut wth did I just write, I think that from being bad at prose I've gone straight to fucking being weird, Fluff will probably creep in because it always does, Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, except 28 yr olds shouldn't be crushing on 12 yr olds lmao, Juciest Lucius and his magnificent Staff, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Gilderoy Lockhart, Hermione Granger and her parents (mentioned), Arthurs Semen has its own name and is somewhat sentient against thots, lucius Malfoy has a magnificent extendable arse. Filch tried to frighten them, by telling that many dangerous creatures lived there. 7. Delegations of students from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and Durmstrang Institute came to Hogwarts in order to watch the Tournament and sign up to be chosen as one of the champions. And also all four of them together. After insulting Sir Nicholas and threatening to report them, Sir Nicholas denounced Filch as a low-class bully and that he was supervising said student. Mrs Norris, like her master, was infamously bad-tempered with anyone but Filch himself. Book 6, Brotherhood. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words. [20], During this school year, Jacob's sibling tried to invite him to Hagrid's birthday party, which was pretty successful and he attended the party, although Professor McGonagall considered it a miracle if he agreed to celebrate anything whatsoever. Lessons With Hagrid by NothingPretentious. [14] By the end of the 1970s, Filch had already filled at least one thousand and fifty-six boxes with punishment records. [55] But Cho vouched for Harry and stated that he was not ordering Dungbombs. [69] Filch, however, was hoodwinked by Fred and George's Owl order service, in which their products came disguised as perfumes and cough potions. Filch shouted in a hysterical voice about all the work he would have mopping up all night, and ran to Headmaster Dumbledore slamming a door behind him.[37]. In it, Harry Potter is taking (you guessed it) a nightly stroll when he finds his girlfriend Ginny and his enemy Draco in a compromising position. Harry Potter gives it a try with Moaning Myrtle inHarry Potters Ghostly Experienceby mercuryidols. [56] Umbridge started passing Educational Decrees to suppress and outlaw behaviour of which the Ministry did not approve. The next year, he was responsible for recognising Dark objects that were brought into Hogwarts. [13], Filch lived in a dingy and windowless office containing filing cabinets with detailed records of all the students Filch had disciplined. [23] Following this, Jacob's sibling and Nymphadora Tonks conspired to scare Filch from his office to retrieve the notebook. When Harry Potter reached Filch, the caretaker gave a great sniff as though to detect a whiff of Dungbombs.[58]. [4], Harry Potter: Hogwarts MysteryArgus' sceptical personality against Jacob's sibling party invitation, In the 19841985 school year, Filch and Mrs Norris found the cursed ice. Harry goes into heat and Arthur cant resist. He has no shame. [2][14], After the attack, Filch frequently paced the corridor in which it had taken place, as though hoping for the attacker to return. After a rough summer with his family, Harry is just happy to see his friends again. He was born to at least one wizard parent sometime before 1951,[1] presumably somewhere in the British Isles. [15] In the 1977-1978 school year, Filch, probably on a tip-off from Severus Snape, whose obsession it had become to expose his arch-rival, James Potter in wrongdoing, confiscated the Marauder's Map after the Marauders over-reached themselves and were cornered. Or even just one page. They were saved by Quirinus Quirrell, who vouched for them while passing by. Scorpius and Albus are dating in this story, and after doing a little digging, they find out that their parents Draco and Harry also used to date. [65], Inspired by the twins' legendary flight to freedom, a great number of students wreaked havoc in the school: Lee Jordan[66] put Nifflers into Umbridge's office, which promptly tore the place apart while searching for shiny objects and leapt on Umbridge when she entered, trying to gnaw the rings off her fingers. by snarkysweetness. Rated M.] Okay, so this isn't the film actor for James Potter. Like why he hates students so much. This belongs to a school champion! Best Funny Harry Potter Fanfiction. If you don't want to read that, I'd recommend finding another story rather than giving this one a try. . He hummed creakily under his breath, under the prospect of the changes Umbridge had announced him. When a blood curse in Harry activates, it takes Harry over two years to deal with it Harry Potter never had sex before until fifth year when his uncle decided to rape him. If you ever wondered what it would be like if Hermione Granger was a lesbian, check outThe Exploits of Hermione Grangerby WhereTheBerriesBloom. Filch talked to her and called her "my sweet". In an excuse to escape punishment, Draco told Filch he had been invited to Professor Slughorn's party, and Filch dragged him by the ear to Slughorn's office to see if his claim was true. She, however, met Peeves on the way, who chased her from the premises, whacking her alternately with Minerva McGonagall's walking stick and a sock full of chalk as the students and teachers watched. To annoy Filch, Peeves would trap Mrs Norris in suits of armour,[65] drop chandeliers,[65] play tennis against the Castle walls in the middle of the night,[34] stick wads of gum in keyholes[85] and caused general mayhem, which Filch was later responsible for fixing and cleaning up. That's what fanfiction is about. [54] Filch was reportedly miserable, as he thought Umbridge was the best thing that ever happened to Hogwarts.[67]. Its a short and simple tale of two men getting ready together and getting a little distracted. Slut Harry spends Christmas at the Burrow. Harry Potter and Georgia knightly have suffered at both the same night.join them through their journey with their friends at their times in Hogwarts the good and bad. Every Tuesday, hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman read a new chapter of Harry Potter erotic fanfiction. She jumped and hugged Harry, almost knocking him to the ground. [9] During the Battle, when the Death Eaters marched towards the Castle with Harry's "dead body", he was clearly solemn as he stood by Horace Slughorn, Pomona Sprout, and Poppy Pomfrey,[82] despite all their differences, as his death meant the victory of the Death Eaters. With the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-Three, which appointed Dolores Umbridge to the post of High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, the Ministry effectively started its interference at the school. Harry felt no dread, no terror, no anger or fury or resentment. Erotic Heatby AnnaBelle Rose22 features Rose and Lily Luna, but also Ginny and Harry. [81] The caretaker stayed in the Castle during the battle,[82] although it is unknown how, as a Squib, he participated in the battle; perhaps he stayed to tend to the fighters' injuries or to aid the Hogwarts forces with his extensive knowledge of the Castle layout and secret passages. Still Waters Run Deep by sarhea keeps with the Hermione/Percy pairing and reminds us that prim and proper doesnt mean passionless.. Disclaimer I don't own anything but my own ocs Add to library4.3kDiscussion 448Suggest tags Sigh, Teenagers 213 pages 6 months ago Selantro [31], Harry Potter and the Philosopher's StoneFilch tries to catch the trio and Neville Longbottom breaking rules, By 1991, Filch had Mrs Norris, his cat, following Rubeus Hagrid every time he went up into the Castle. Harry sank into one of the trick steps and got stuck in it, making his golden egg break open and wail. He later told Harry Potter off for wandering around on his own, which he thought suspicious. I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh? [47] During the Hallowe'en feast on 31 October, Filch wore his mouldy old tailcoat and added chairs to accommodate Igor Karkaroff, Olympe Maxime, Ludovic Bagman, and Bartemius Crouch Senior at the Staff Table. He left Harry and ran to find Peeves, excited that he might finally be able to pursuade Dumbledore to kick Peeves out of Hogwarts. Thank you for signing up! Harry is in his 2nd year when he gets another detention from Lockhart. Editors Note, 6/22/2020: Following are the works of independent creators. [48], On several occasions in December, Filch had to take Peeves from inside suits of armour, where he had taken to hide, singing Christmas carols with very rude lyrics of his own invention.[49]. [71] Snape, however, did not show much respect to the caretaker, and simply treated him as a minion. Midway through the train ride, the Dementors board the train and Harry's life is never the same. [65], No one, however, could compete with the master of chaos, Peeves. [70][71] Most of the staff appeared to dislike Filch's grumpy and antipathetic personality, such as Minerva McGonagall, who could often be irritated by his behaviour (to the point of forgoing her usual politeness with fellow staff by calling him a "blithering idiot"),[9] and Horace Slughorn, who intended to report him for being more concerned about cleaning up than with the students' security. On 14 February 1989, Filch attended the Valentine's Day Ball with Pince. Feel free to suggest any pairings/situations you'd like to see, and eventually I'll try to include them (it could take a while). I had no idea Percy Weasley and Oliver Wood were such a popular pairing until I started doing research for this article, at which point I uncovered a whole slew of Percy/Oliver erotica. Refer to the manual, or the Goodreads Librarians Group. What's this racket? Egg? The background story will basically follow the books, and won't bother restating everything that happens. They were given detention in the Forbidden Forest, along with deductions of fifty house points each. The films omit Peeves the Poltergeist, and so Filch's ongoing war with him is omitted also. Thus, the caretaker started to support Umbridge and follow her orders. When he got to the Owlery, he found Harry Potter (who had just sent a letter for Sirius Black) and Cho Chang (who was sending her mother a parcel for her birthday). Dumbledore then knocked down the Ministry officials, and left the school undetected. Before he can process these recent events, he and many others are invited to the Room of Requirement to read a very special set of books. . While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. [26], Later in the school year, Filch was speaking to Snape and Madam Pince in the Potions Classroom when he was introduced to Brazilian exchange student Alanza Alves by Jacob's sibling. He always begged Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling. Marrying Millicent Bulstrode, the ugly, smelly and fat girl of Slytherin, who liked to giggle with that irritating sound that tears through your head like the wail of a pig? [14], Filch usually wore a brown coat,[45] although on special occasions he would wear a mouldy-looking tailcoat[45] or an ancient black suit and tie reeking of mothballs. ! Came the screeching of Molly Weasley who had taken to clearing Lockhearts signing table and laying spread eagle on her back, knickers round her ankles. You've been stealing! [82] The battle recommenced shortly afterwards, and it all ended when Lord Voldemort was finally defeated and killed by Harry Potter in the Great Hall. [36] Ron spent the evening of 5 September, 1992 with Filch, and kept burping up slugs all over Tom Riddle's Special Award for Services to the School. Filch found them trying to force their way through the door of the out-of-bounds corridor on the third floor. Hermione looked up at Harry's face. This work now includes mini series as well as oneshots. Filch was furious and kicked Harry out off his office, trying to convince him that the letter was not his, and ordering him not to tell anyone. [4] The Map was later brought back to Filch's office and kept there until Fred and George Weasley 'nicked' it during their first year, 19891990 school year, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry after being hauled to his office for letting off a Dungbomb in a corridor. [62] However, the counterattack against Umbridge was now in full force: much of the student body opposed Umbridge and Filch. There is a small corner of the Internet dedicated to those of us who prefer the canonical Harry Potter couples. Midway through the train ride, the Dementors board the train and Harry's life is never the same. Molly Weasleys naked body can turn men to stone AND homosexuality. "Min ymmrrn kyll. Filch was also the only one of the Hogwarts staff to stay at Hogwarts Castle during the summer holidays. After being freed, Astra wants to know all about the life of her old friend, Harry. [43] Filch searched both the dungeons,[42] the Astronomy Tower and the Owlery,[43] but found no sign of him. Strange, but consensual. Author: MyGinevra Published: 2015-09-26 Length: 424 pages Reviews: 0 reviews Letters From the Edge Genres: Drama , Romance M/M erotica continues to dominate Harry Potter fanfic, but there are still quite a few notable lesbian stories out there. Hermione broke the hug. InA Perfect Dream World by arobynsung, everyones favorite Quidditch girls Alicia Spinnett, Angelina Johnson, and Katie Bell get together. #1. They brought either a Nose-Biting Teacup or Fanged Frisbee from Zonko's Joke Shop, and after Jacob's sibling placed the prank device inside his office after hiding themselves with the Shrinking Charm, Filch opened the box containing the prank device which forced him and Mrs Norris to retreat, allowing them to read and retrieve the notebooks. Confused about what he felt and hearing his mum's final words, Harry's mind starts to unlock things that had been better left forgotten. During his tenure as Headmaster, Snape kept Filch working at Hogwarts despite his status as a Squib. Hes bitter.Ron Weasley's explanation of Filch's grouchy personality, Very foul-tempered, cantankerous, and easily annoyed, Filch had an extremely unpleasant personality. The two shared a strong bond that linked them somehow; anytime Mrs Norris spotted someone breaking a rule, Filch would arrive soon afterwards.[13]. Harry po jistm incidentu skon porann a v bezvdom v postrann ulice, kde ho najde njak mu. The Dragons Brideby Rizzle, Hermione and Draco find themselves naked, tattooed, and married after a drunken night of debauchery. Harry looked into Hermione's eyes. Harry, Miles, and Rue haven't been actual siblings since their first year, afterwards they completely separated to their own Houses and worlds: Harry; a Gryffindor, Rue; a Hufflepuff, and Miles: a Ravenclaw. Work Search: In this extremely strange erotic fanfic, Hogwarts is lonely and the giant squid is there to fill those halls. If youre more interested in everyone having sex with everyone else (including twincest), tryMake A Noteby Inell. [74], I'd appreciate it if you stopped trying to inch me closer to the shackles, Mr Filch.Jacob's sibling talking to Filch in his office. PEEVES! [15], Filch frequently patrolled the hallways at night-time, hunting down students wandering out of bed and looking for excuses to give them detentions. This one a try Rush, and Katie Bell get together were given detention in the Forbidden,... 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