Every little piece of their bad behaviour that you see through and stand up against, all creates a strength in you that you may not even be aware of. Does the Narcissist Treat the New Supply Better? That is my body telling me,(please do not put me through this again) My healing is going well, my sleep is getting better, my concentration is getting back. o.k. Now I just have to stay strong which is so much easier when you are aware of what you are dealing with. And, late at night when you are lonely and feel yourself weaken, you mustneverevertext them for any reason. Ive been devalued for Years. Waiting in a homeless shelter for my housing to kick in. Because it often happens out of nowhere. Being in a relationship with a narcissist is a traumatic experience, one that you dont want to repeat. They love the excitement of the chase, not the actual relationship. If one wont give me exactly what I want and I have the opportunity to upgrade to a different, better person (better is defined as higher in prestige), I will do it in a heartbeat!. You started taking it out on me! Even though I hadnt seen or recognised any of that within myself, he had very much noticed the strength building in me and took it as a personal attack against him. Are you in a dither wondering if perhaps there is something to this? Their personal history is full of splits with people whom they now hate and refuse to talk to, often over events that they have mostly forgotten. The pain of the injustices are huge! I am in a bad situation with no family/friends and no money to evict. Karma eventually catches up to these horrible narc male womanisers. As mentioned before, the initial phase of a relationship with a narcissist feels wonderful some describe it as intoxicating. Yourmental health your psychological, emotional, and social well-being has an impact on every aspect of your life. Do narcissists ever discard people permanently? [ COPYRIGHT 2023 - UNMASKING THE NARC - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ] Chic Lite | Developed By. What is Narcissistic Rage? Ive been trying to figure him out for so long, feeling confused by his conflicting behavior. She has tormented me for years and this was her final blow. I think I have just been too traumatized from all the years of abuse with my first narc, my childhood, other relationships and now him. This means that the chances of getting back together with the narcissist are slim to none. If you live together theyll ignore your very existence and dish out their childish silent treatment. If you are in a situation where the narcissist is willing to have an open conversation about what happened between the two of you, it may be beneficial for both parties involved. Other things were in place, and the disrespect was enough the silent treatments, the refusing to talk about minor things. This is my second narcissistic relationship and I had a gut feeling he was a narc in the beginning but stayed because I wanted to give him a chance. Guess what, they had our unconditional love and didnt know what to do with our love thats their loss, !!! We all have our own unmet traumas from our past in this life and other lifetimes. He will never stop cheating and lying. They will pin blame on you, explaining in detail how you failed them as a partner. In them, the two of you are the very picture of perfect love. My sister has long debased me. You are simply a new shiny object within the first 6 months to a year into the affair, after that you wont be all that anymore, the devalue and discard phase follows. Im in discard phase, help he has my passwords my emails and unemployment access, bank card numbers hes stopped giving compliments long ago, hes online always on phone date night, date day, date hour, he dont c me when I walk by, hes stealing my clothes and more I have nowhere to go, Slowly change your card number, get new accounts, get new emails, close social media, get new numbers. The greater and overall more significant outcome of going No Contact is that you are reclaiming your life, your freedom, and your joy. I was doing well. This means that the narcissist has likely been planning the discard for a while and they chose to do it at that particular time because something or someone else came up. Reclaim your freedom & joy and start your recovery journey now! The twisted thing is that in the narcissists warped reality, they genuinely think that you are the one doing all of the wrong things. Not sure how I found you, may have been a search engine. as discard begun, she kept of saying that we were incompatible. I saw a side of him Id never witnessed before in the twenty years Id known him (even through the abuse)! This leaves the door open just a crack, so they might return at a later date once theyve completely drained another partner or just need a momentary self-esteem boost. If the litmus test in distinguishing between no contact and the silent treatment is intent, then the obvious follow up question is how an impartial third party may be able to judge the difference? They target people who are vulnerable and have low self-esteem because they know that these people will be the easiest to control and manipulate. Maybe I didnt pick up on it until much later? One of the best things you can do for yourself after being discarded by a narcissist is to talk about it. So very very true. After weeks, months, or even years of being devalued, victims of narcissistic abuse often believe that they deserve to be left. His verbal abuse slowly intensified over the 19 yrs, until I had to call the police last yr. Hes a raging narc. They just wanted to get rid of you as soon as possible so that nothing would stand in their way anymore, but they did not care enough about your feelings to give you an explanation first. You will rarely see them again unless they find themselves up late one night, bored and horny. I have been living in a van along with my dog. You pull yourself together, get prepared and with all that effort, you take the test and pass. Maggie x. The warning signs are unmistakable. Get out by any means necessary, block all contact with the N and anyone they associate with. I dont know what is wrong with me and why I feel I cant be done with him! I sometimes say him for the sake of brevity, but there are female versions of these types as well. The narcissist's final discard occurs when they finally have squeezed every last ounce of joy and self-worth from you. I hope you find these answers helpful! I am now estranged from my beautiful daughter and was replaced again when I caught him again lying cheating etc it was the worse hell ever and I thought id never get up again as he had done this to me before and when I healed and the woman he left for dumped him then I was called back again. To those who have experienced it, the discard feels incredibly cold and makes little sense. All you have to do is never answer any of their texts or phone calls or respond in any way to their attempts to entice you back to serve their needs. Without empathy and a conscience, they will do, say and pretend to be whatever they need to, purely to extract supply from others. Ghosting by the Narcissist serves two purposes: first, to keep you out of their business as they busy themselves with their latest supply, and second, as the source of their continued enjoyment of watching you suffer. Narcissistic discard is when a person with narcissistic tendencies ends their relationship with you. The only thing you can control, is to remove yourself from it. The act of ghosting reflects on key traits of a narcissist, particularly low- self-esteem, obsession with perceived power and being in control, and lack of concern for others. There are though many wonderful channels out there on the topic. Stonewalling; Abruptly ending a conversation followed by the silent treatment or ghosting; Depression manifesting as . How a Narcissist Treats You When Youre Sick. We use cookies to optimise our website and our service. The build-up to a discard can last weeks or even months as the narcissist preps you for the final phase. He was unfaithful in the 1st two yrs of marriage; with zero remorse about it. The most important thing to do in these moments is to remind yourself of your worth and realize that it wasnt your fault! The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. I will then answer each of these questions to provide you with the insight and clarity that you need after this kind of experience. This is breaking our heart. Dear Anonymous, you are most welcome gorgeous one. Just dont dwell on why this discard occurred. Unbeknownst to me I was raised by a narcissist, then fell straight into the arms of another one and spent the next two decades being abused by him. So my narcissist is married to my brother. Im going to save myself and work on my healing and let this be a lesson to other women having affairs with married men. You must admire and worship me as a God., You must pour an unlimited supply of energy into my empty void., If you try and fight back, I will punish you.. By this point, the narcissist sees no value in even giving you the time of day. Light & love to you. Many victims of narcissistic abuse are afraid of losing friends and family members when the narcissist claims they can be turned against them. Each and everyone of us are brilliant shining stars thats why we were chosen from the beginning. YOU DID IT !!! And even if you receive an explanation or apology, it may be shallow and filled with lies. If you think you have been blocked in error, contact the owner of this site for assistance. The point of this stage is to earn the person's trust, loyalty, and affection. Sick. At no point will they take any responsibility for their role in ending their relationship. There is no way to hide the fact that a narcissist discards people in their life. Or, if I agreed with what he said, then Id just okayed his behaviour, with serves to strengthen his public storyline. Maggie x. !Loving Him has caused me much damn child.An they now know he has a substance issue.Nov 9th.2021!I was found outside in a tent with my 1 year old daughter!I hate this shit.Its bad enough I have kids by a narcissist.Now my damn child in the system. They have two children less than a year apart. Guess where I am at now? It is others that inspire me to never look back and that for all the good memories there are far more bad ones. But equally, 100% true. I had to leave in the middle of the night to not get pulled back and I have lost all my belongings. Before youve even had a chance to talk to anyone, the narc has already painted the picture for everyone, making anything you say completely unbelievable. Totally crap to hear. They simply wanted to get rid of you in the most efficient way possible and that is why they chose to discard you without any warning or explanation. It totally broke me. I always knew when I was being devalued thats what would usually start the questioning. Last night, he came here to my new place and rang the doorbell and POUNDED on the door all night long until I went outside and took him away from the house. But what lies beyond this gross over-simplification? You get to decide what to do, not them. They will do whatever it takes to paint themselves as the victim and you as the perpetrator, regardless of what the truth is.Advertisementsif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-leader-4','ezslot_5',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-leader-4-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-leader-4','ezslot_6',119,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-leader-4-0_1'); .leader-4-multi-119{border:none !important;display:block !important;float:none !important;line-height:0px;margin-bottom:15px !important;margin-left:auto !important;margin-right:auto !important;margin-top:15px !important;max-width:100% !important;min-height:250px;min-width:250px;padding:0;text-align:center !important;}. See. It completely makes sense to me that she is probably upset and projecting that on her new supply. for the poor new mark. Their ego is on a rampage and will not risk being outed or revealed in any way. Even though odds are that they are the ones who should be apologising, the feeling of being deleted from their world is so intense. Eventually though, be prepared to be hoovered at some point when all of their other sources dry up. The narcissistic discard is often sudden, unexpected, and without any warning signs. In the next step, the narcissist severs any bonds that might remain. You can find support and understanding from those people, which will help you cope better during this difficult time in your life. Its nothing short of soul crushing. Without that life force, they are left as a defective soul who is filled with inner hatred and self-loathing due to their wounding. It is the compass in finding the path to truth. Far better for you gorgeous one to keep doing what you are doing which is healing yourself. 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